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Posted by Jessica on Jan 12, 2005
Our First House

One of my little indulgences is reading an online community about wedding planning. This is a bit odd, frankly, because (1) Tim & I aren't planning on getting married soon, and (2) I was never the type of girl who planned her wedding or even planned to get married at all. So, you know, it's a bit odd that I love, love, love to read about planning weddings.

I think part of the reason I love it is because I enjoy organizing events. And, I'm good at it. (It's one of the few areas where I'll toot my own horn.) I've always worked at non-profits that required someone to plan event after event after event (i.e. citywide volunteer days, fundraisers, staff retreats, blah, blah, blah). So I have experience and I have a knack for it...and I just love it. And so reading about event planning/organizing just gets me all excited. Yes, I'm a dork.

Now, I know the "national average" for weddings is somewhere around 22k. (I just read an article this past weekend, stop laughing at me.) Which, you know, is rather shocking, right?

And so I was flipping through the community this morning, and I found this entry where a member asked everyone how much they're spending on their wedding.

In the comments, there's definitely a mix of prices in there. A lot of people are throwing together the event on 2k-5k. I respect that. It's a challenge (but doable) to throw a sizeable party, especially if you mix in alcohol & food, for that amount of money in a tasteful way.

And reading further, I saw that some of the couples are planning to spend between 20k-40k on their wedding day. So I kept rea...

Wait. 40k? That's $40,000. Seriously? $40,000? *BrainBreaks*

And I couldn't help thinking to myself that these people are nuts. I mean, it's a day, folks. A day. One day. Are they crazy?

And then I stopped and I thought about me & Tim. I thought about how much money we'll be spending on our trip. And I thought about how we're getting rid of our apartments, putting our stuff in storage, quitting our jobs, and setting off around the world.

And I pictured someone coming across HedgehogsWithoutBorders and saying, "Wait. What? Are they crazy?" And I pictured the responses we'll get from our co-workers when we tell them the news, "Wait. What? Are you crazy?"

We're very aware of how some people (when more people know) will respond to our plans. In fact, Tim & I have been practicing what we'll say to people because we know there'll be some negative responses, some passive aggressive comments, and some flat-out disapproval.

I've likened the money we're spending on our trip to the equivalent of someone buying their first house. This trip is that important to us. It is our first house. Some people may never travel the world, and some people may never buy a house. But each person has a dream and achieving that dream is a really, really cool thing. And whether that dream is a first house or a trip around the world just depends on what's important to them in their life at that moment.

And so when I pictured all of these things, I felt like the biggest dolt for questioning these couple's decisions to spend that much money on their wedding day. And I thought, maybe this is their first house? Or maybe this is their trip around the world?

And so I stopped questioning it and just thought to myself, that's really cool that they want to do that and are able to afford it.

And I can only hope that those people in our life who don't know our dream yet will respond that way too.

Carried away
February 25, 2005 at 2:07pm
I like your rationale…and Dirk and I share it. We spent less than $1000 (and that's including the honeymoon to Prague ;P)on our wedding and still don't have wedding rings.

Way better to save that money and spend it on an experience together.

Nope, don't think your crazy at all. Or maybe it's a case, as my mother always say: "Everyone's crazy. The clue is to find people crazy like you."

March 8, 2005 at 11:46pm
i'm just proud to call you my daughter as you have never cease to amaze with your determimnation ,some thing i also had once and seem to have lost , but by judgeing the way of your share drive i don't think there is any thing in the world that will ever be able to stop you . and i don't think this is crazy or if it is then maybe we all should be crazy a little and enjoy life to its fullest measure. love me
January 30, 2006 at 6:23am
Anyone who spends $40,000 on a wedding needs shooting, espescially when you could spend it on a nice SUV or home theatre system.
oh, british humour is so funny! ;-}

Keep moving onward and upward
Love paul and caz

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